Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Processing and Prose



Had a good day food wise.  No extra activity but had a decent deficit. Sushi and Sashimi for dinner :-D  If you are looking for WL related topics, today is not your day. Otherwise, you may want to grab a cup of coffee and sit a spell...

So as most of you know I was adopted. Last summer, I was searching for some medical history and nationality information and I discovered a WHOLE lot more.  I learned that I had siblings I never knew existed. I also learned my bio mother died 14 years earlier.  It is very similar to what Oprah is going through.  When I watched the show where Oprah meets her half sister I could totally relate. One thing that really hit home as I was watching the show was Oprah saying "I am still processing it all" I realized that I too am still trying to process all this information. Especially in light of the fact that Bruce (bio-father) died the day after Christmas and I have been asked to make decisions in that regard. Speaking of, he has finally been cremated and hopefully he can be placed in the niche next week. More on that later...

The whole time these discoveries were developing, I was limiting how much information I would relay to my mom. She basically knew that I had found out I had siblings and some small details but I was hesitant to tell her too much because I did not want to hurt her feelings. It wasn't that I did not want share. I happened to be talking to my boss about it yesterday and he said he thought it would be good if I told her, that she would want to know and I thought it was a good idea so I planned on telling her about Bruce at a bare minimum

Well last night, we went to have dinner at the Fish Market and I started telling her by bringing up the Oprah story. I told her about finding Bruce and that he died two month later and now I am being asked to make decisions about his final resting place. Her words (and I quote) "You should write a book!" I almost screamed! Here my very private mother is giving me the go ahead. I had told her that the only reason why I did not want to write one is because I respect her and her privacy and feelings. Her response was "Well, it is your life and you are an adult" As I am sitting here writing up this post, I am still in shock that she said that!

Once we got to the Fish Market, it all kind of spewed out of me. I have been basically holding 6 months of emotion in about this situation (other then sharing here) and I shared virtually everything with her. She did not know that I met my Uncle Steve in August, my siblings (2/3) in September, Bruce in October or any of the details. I kept telling her that I never intended on finding anyone, I just wanted the non-identifying information. I also profusely thanked her and told her how very blessed I was to have been adopted by such loving and wonderful people.

After we got back to her house, I did a few things for her around the house and then got ready to go and told her I felt like a huge weight had been lifted and that I was so glad I finally was able to share this information with her. She said she wished I had told her sooner but she was glad that I shared with her. Gave her a BIG hug and kiss and I was on my way.

When I arrived home, there was an ambulance at my friend Lu's. One of her friends, Sarah, had a medical issue and they had to call 911. They revived her and took her to the hospital. Her 10 year old daughter was there too and her grandmother came and got her. Needless to say it was a pretty emotional night. I had had a Latte with dinner and with all the emotion/excitement I did not get to bed until midnight so I am a little slow moving today but as I said, I feel like a weight has been lifted so that helps. Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far! Until next time...




P.S. Don't forget to enter the giveaway, if you haven't already!

13 comments:

  1. Wow! That's an amazingly positive end to your dilemma about your mom. Thank goodness.

    Sorry about your night after that. I hope that you had a good night's sleep and that today is a calmer day.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think it's great that you were able to share that with your mom, it sounds like you have a very healthy relationship with her! Its hard keeping big thigs like that to yourself, especially when it's someone so important in your life!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You've got so much going on! I am so glad you were able to share that with your mom!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Katie that is fantastic. Im glad you shared it with your mom. Im sure it meant a lot to her too. Big hugs

    ReplyDelete
  5. I too was adopted. And, although I know my bio family fairly well, I have always been grateful to my REAL (adopted)mom for being so understanding and always being there for me - especially since my bio mom is her sister.

    Talking about it always helps. Keep up the good work, both physically and emotionally.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm so glad everything is finally out in the open with your mom, and that she took it so well. I sure can tell that you are feeling a lot lighter and more free now - what a relief!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, that does sound like a lot to process. What I learned from this story though is your mother is a wonderful woman. Is that where you get it from? :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. hugs and stuff!
    :) and a smile!

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a relief! I'm glad your mom took it so well. I've never disclosed to my dad that I searched and found and it didn't turn out well.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am so glad you were able to let your Mom know what was going on - that is a weight lifted! :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am so happy that you were able to share all of this with your mother & that she was all right with it. What a wonderful feeling!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think it's great you talked to your mom. And it's great she was so cool with all of it. I think it says a lot about how much you love and respect her that you were more worried about HER feelings than anything else. That's pretty special in my book. :-) And I'm really glad that she was...worthy of those feelings. I'm sure she just wants you to be happy. Most Moms are like that. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so glad for you that you shared such an emotional thing with your mother and that you feel such relief at having it out in the open. You should write a book, Katie J! You've got a great story to tell.

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to know what's on your mind...