Thank you for ALL your support on yesterdays post. I know that bottom line, it is up to us what happens but it is also nice to have my feelings validated and affirmed. I don’t know about you guys but I seem to question my own judgment all the time. I have a post brewing on this topic.
The good news for yesterday was that I got out of going to see my family for dinner last night. They asked if I wanted to be included in the plans and I gracefully declined. I said I had not slept well Wednesday night which is true. I went to sleep around 11:00 p.m. after arguing with Dave and was up at 5:00 a.m. Let them enjoy each others company. That is really why they are here; to spend time with my mom. I am just the tag along.
I tried to talk to Dave some more about our situation. I really think there is no reconciliation possible which is sad but living in an unhappy situation will only hurt the both of us more if we continue down this path. He can rent a room for $300-$500 and be covered as for a living space. Of course his response when I asked him what he will do he said he will live in his car and die. Lovely… but in reality it should not be my responsibility right? I would allow him to stay another month or even two to get living arrangements lined up. I am not cruel but I have to stop the madness at some point.
My eating has been spotty. Yesterday, I had some string cheese for breakfast and a Jr. Bacon cheeseburger from Wendy’s for lunch. It was 310 cals so it was not the worst thing to eat but not very nutritious obviously. It was only the 3rd time I have had a fast food hamburger in 2+ years. It actually tasted pretty good believe it or not. I know I need to eat but the anxiety I have been feeling is making me not hungry. I think I need to pick up some Ensure/Glucerna so I can get nutrients in my body. I don’t want to let my immunities get low and get sick.
Today, my brother Bob turns 50. We will be going to the Outback (even though I suggested elsewhere) for dinner to celebrate. I will most likely have the Ahi and a salad like I did last time. Either way I will try to plan accordingly.
Saturday we will be meeting our extended family for brunch then going back to my mom’s to swim. Yes, my mom has a pool… I don’t think in all the time I have been blogging have I mentioned that because we NEVER use it. I have suggested it but she doesn’t want to and since she is the boss, well… it does not get used. I could give a rat’s ass about what I look like in my suit in front of them btw. Then Sunday, they will be flying home in the afternoon. I am freaking thrilled they have a rental car. Going to SJC to shuttle them back and forth was no fun in the past so it makes things easier on me. I am just hoping the weekend goes by swiftly and painlessly. Hope you guys have a great weekend! Until next time…