Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Healing Hearts



Last night turned out to be a pretty monumental night. I had a long conversation with my mother over the phone and she basically said that she is unable to make any decisions for herself and that we (my brother and I) will have to make them for her. She is no longer able to stay at home alone and it costs a small fortune to have 24/7 care in the house. It is overwhelming and scary to her so she is putting it on us. She expressed more then one time that she wanted my bro and I to be on the same page and make the decisions together. I told her we would do our best. She has been very thankful to me and expressing how proud she is of me which is something fairly new to me but I am glad she is sharing. I would help her anyways but it nice to know she appreciates my efforts.

After I hung up with her, I called my brother. He answered the phone and we ended up having a heart-to-heart about everything that had transpired recently. He acknowledged that my mom is a "handful" and that she has not always been the nicest person to me and how hard it must be for me. It was an affirmation that he really does care and knows what I have endured which means a lot. He was comforting and I have hopes that we can move past this. We both apologized and I said I did not intend to be so mean but there was a lot of pent up emotion/frustration. I am a little guarded but I am hopeful that we can move past all the BS and get this situation handled the best way possible. He will be flying in tomorrow to stay the weekend so we can make some headway.

One of my coworkers who has been battling Cancer came back to work today for the first time in 2 months and that made me smile this morning. I have really missed her and so glad she is on the mend. There is hope! I am totally sapped on emotions. Looking forward to getting home and getting some rest.  Until next time...



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12 comments:

  1. I know this must be so hard. Glad you talked to your bro!

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  2. Wonderful news about your brother - I am so happy for you! It sounds like things are starting to turn around :)

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  3. Great news Katie. Brighter days ahead!!! Take care.

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  4. So happy for you that your mother acknowledged you, and that you and your brother talked.
    My mother and I were able to make amends (of sorts) before she passed away... and a brother that had lost touch was back in my life after 27 years. Loooong story... lol
    I'm just glad for you is all I really wanted to say. :)

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  5. I'm so glad to read that things are looking up for you :)

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  6. Such hard things to deal with but I'm glad you are working on working them out.

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  7. What a stressful situation, but wow - I'm so pleased for you that you were able to talk things out with your brother and get acknowledgement from both him and your mom about the good things that you do!

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  8. There is such light in the dark ehre, the talks that show bonds and moving past blokages to solve things. I am so glad your brother is being reasonabble.

    DOn't I know this story: 24/7 in-home care for my MIL and GMIL when they were in their last years was roughly 40K a year. So, I have no idea how folks without massive savings handle it.

    My sisters and I, all three of us, didn't work when my parents were ailing/dying, so we were able to take care of them and let them die at home. We changed diapers, fed, washed, drove to doc weekly or twice a week, kept hospital vigils. Toward the end, when we were just ready to pass out from stress, we had hospice, which helped. Though we paid for a nurse, an RN, to stay during the night while we slept. That let us refresh ourselves some, and gave us peace of mind that a kind, qualified woman would be by mother's side...costly, more than $1000 a week for those hours during the night, but it kept us from going plum nuts with worry.

    And mom was able to die in peace.

    It's a hard thing. Our society is no longer set up for these things from the family side (ie, women WORK, extended families aren't much living together), and the health system is so patchwork and labyrinthine that it's another stressor. It's tough. tough...

    I hope you and your brother can find the best way to care for her. God bless, lady, God bless...you and mom and bro....

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  9. I hope it all works out for you. I'm so glad there appears to be some resolution with the family issues. Whew!

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  10. This is definitely a step in the right direction. I'm really glad you got to work a few things out with your brother.

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  11. Wow...what a huge development...fingers crossed for the desired outcome with your brother. I think your mother is a very special woman to come to this decision so that it isn't something you have to "make her do" later.

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  12. I'm so glad your brother is coming around and is willing to put aside the past and work with you. He was being so mean to you before, I hope things contine to improve!!

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