I can't believe it has been a whole week since I posted anything. Since starting the blog in February, I have not taken that long of a break between posts. It did give me the perspective though that I am a whole bunch more accountable when I am here posting. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving and long weekend.
I really don't know where to begin but... Picked my brother up at the airport on Wednesday night. I was stressed and tired and decided it would be easier to go alone. I also opted out of having dinner with them that night. Then on Thanksgiving, I did not want to have dinner with them and sent a text at the last minute. I ended up having a full dinner at the bar. Friday, they were going to the movies to see The Blind Side and I did not go with them. Then Saturday was the memorial service for my friend and the wedding for my brother. I drank a lot and felt pretty green Sunday. My brother was taking off Sunday morning so I took him to the airport and dropped him off. I hung out most of the day and had pizza for dinner Sunday night. I don't know what it was on the pizza but I have felt sick for 2 days. Today, I am back at work but I am still woozy and I have a headache.
I am emotionally and physically beat up right now. I have some decisions to make regarding my future and I don't know if I have the capacity to do that right now. Some of it has to to with Dave. He will be getting out of his program on December 23rd and will be coming to stay at my apt. I have really enjoyed my freedom and need to know that BIG changes will happen or otherwise it won't work... I will see him for the first time in a month this Friday so we can talk some then. He sounds like he has changed but it is hard to trust after some of the heartache he has put me through before. I will elaborate more on this in another post but one of the biggest roadblocks is our age difference. I am 43 and he is 58. I still have lots of ambition and drive in me. I am not ready to settle down and sit on my haunches watching the rest of my life go by... UGH!!!
The good news is that the scale did not move. I am still at 257. I think this definitely is the first Thanksgiving I did not gain at least 5 lbs.