My mom and I are going shopping today. In an email I sent her yesterday to confirm what time we were meeting, I asked her to set aside my Adoption paperwork. I talked about it in this post here. Basically, she told me a few months ago that she wanted me to have my adoption papers and it took me this long to ask her about them again. It was a strange feeling to know that that information will now be available to me after all these years. I am at a crossroads about it and will have to do some serious soul searching about how to proceed.
My biggest questions are what nationality I am and what medical conditions run in my birth family. I am not sure if I want to pursue meeting my birth mother or father. I have heard varying stories about adoption reunions and not sure if I am strong enough to handle any rejection that might happen. Maybe she does not want to meet me; maybe she has a family that did not know about me. It is just a lot of unknowns and I am not sure how to proceed. I say she because I would want to see the birth mother the most. I have never really thought about my birth father although I do wonder once in awhile if he thinks about me.
What I do know is this: I was born in June ‘66 at Santa Clara County Hospital (Valley Medical Center) and adopted by Ed and Betty in January ‘67. I was in foster care until I was 6 months old and the family even named me May. My birth mother was 20 years old when she had me which makes her 63 now. She tried to keep me but financially could not swing it. The birth father and her were not “together” and they found him in AZ in order for him to sign off on the adoption. Betty and Ed named me Katherine Ann after their respective mothers. :-D but obviously I go by Katie J and my besties call me Kate.
I will let you know what is contained in the adoption paperwork once I see it. I don’t know what info is there, if it has their names or anything so I am anxious to see. Until next time…
Wow...that must be quite a dilemma. I wouldn't know what to do either. I agree that getting a family health history would be ideal information to have...the rest...ooh boy what difficult thoughts you must be having. Perhaps it is at least good news that you have some options. I guess other adoptees don't.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with this... Will be thinking of you. Love the photo you used to 'show' the crossroads. :o)
ReplyDeletePatsy x
Good luck with your decesion. I searched and found and I would be glad to help you in any way I can just drop me a note at my blog.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
Best of luck...follow your heart...it always leads the right way.
ReplyDeleteThat is a tough decision - I'm sure she's thought about you often over the years. Good luck with this - what a crossroads, indeed.
ReplyDeleteWow that is a big decision to make. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. You have my prayers that you will make the right choice for yourself and that all will turn out well.
ReplyDeleteWow, I think that's pretty exciting! I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteI think it could be exciting...but I also understand your hesitation. Best of luck to ya Katie, no matter what you decided to do! :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish you the best. The research part will be interesting--and you can think about how to proceed from there as you work on finding the facts. I'd imagine that there are lots of websites that offer pointers and advice about how to best proceed. Deb
ReplyDeleteKatie, I am so sure you are curious and hesitant to see what happens next. Trust your heart. I wish you the best and know it will not be easy for you. I know I would want to me, either for some closure or to see if there was a future in the relationship. Easy to say when your on the outside looking in. I am sure you will make the right choice for you. Prayers and best wishes to you my friend. I will be thinking about you. take care.
ReplyDeleteI would think this could be a really fascinating academic exercise, even in the absence of all the emotional ties. Geneology is interesting, so even if relationships cannot be fostered, it might be neat to see what information you find.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
Cheers,
Missa
LosingEthel
Hi Katie; love your blog and thanks for the apnea info! I believe my mother had it. As for adoption, I'm a real curious person so I'd want to know. There's a television show about reunions called The Locator on WE network- interesting and always makes me cry! My cousin who is my age (62) adopted her newborn daughter out in 1971. Very few people know about it (she moved to another state where baby was born)and I have always wondered about that baby's life. My cousin is afraid- she married and had an only child in 1973 and that girl has no idea she has a sister. I think she'd be shocked but very receptive later!
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