Friday, November 28, 2014
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Honestly, it was awful. That will be the last time I don't make solid plans to be somewhere with someone. I stayed home 3/4 of the day and then finally went to Denny's and had breakfast for dinner. Alone. It wasn't the worst thing but it was right up there in the top 3.
It has been my experience that I need to have something planned for the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. It just works better for me emotionally. I respectfully honor my loved ones and then distract myself with something enjoyable like a movie or shopping or the beach; weather permitting.
As if it wasn't hard enough to deal with being basically alone on the holiday, looking at all these boxes and feeling chaotic is adding fuel to the fire.
Another thing I have learned is you really find out who your friends are when it comes to major life events like death(s) or moving. I have been a support to my friends when they needed it and now here I am a week away from moving out of state and no one is around. Maybe it is me and my codependence or maybe it is just me learning to be more self-reliant but it has not been easy. The end result will be all worth it but geez Louise it has been a rough ride lately.
The good news is I am strong, I can do hard things and I will survive this. I need to remember that when I start feeling down. I have been blessed with many things in my life and I will not let this get me down. Yes it hurts but wallowing and complaining is a waste of time.