Friday, July 8, 2011

Swiftly and Painlessly

Thank you for ALL your support on yesterdays post. I know that bottom line, it is up to us what happens but it is also nice to have my feelings validated and affirmed. I don’t know about you guys but I seem to question my own judgment all the time. I have a post brewing on this topic.

The good news for yesterday was that I got out of going to see my family for dinner last night. They asked if I wanted to be included in the plans and I gracefully declined. I said I had not slept well Wednesday night which is true. I went to sleep around 11:00 p.m. after arguing with Dave and was up at 5:00 a.m. Let them enjoy each others company. That is really why they are here; to spend time with my mom. I am just the tag along.

I tried to talk to Dave some more about our situation. I really think there is no reconciliation possible which is sad but living in an unhappy situation will only hurt the both of us more if we continue down this path. He can rent a room for $300-$500 and be covered as for a living space. Of course his response when I asked him what he will do he said he will live in his car and die. Lovely… but in reality it should not be my responsibility right? I would allow him to stay another month or even two to get living arrangements lined up. I am not cruel but I have to stop the madness at some point.

My eating has been spotty. Yesterday, I had some string cheese for breakfast and a Jr. Bacon cheeseburger from Wendy’s for lunch. It was 310 cals so it was not the worst thing to eat but not very nutritious obviously. It was only the 3rd time I have had a fast food hamburger in 2+ years. It actually tasted pretty good believe it or not. I know I need to eat but the anxiety I have been feeling is making me not hungry. I think I need to pick up some Ensure/Glucerna so I can get nutrients in my body. I don’t want to let my immunities get low and get sick.

Today, my brother Bob turns 50. We will be going to the Outback (even though I suggested elsewhere) for dinner to celebrate. I will most likely have the Ahi and a salad like I did last time. Either way I will try to plan accordingly.

Saturday we will be meeting our extended family for brunch then going back to my mom’s to swim. Yes, my mom has a pool… I don’t think in all the time I have been blogging have I mentioned that because we NEVER use it. I have suggested it but she doesn’t want to and since she is the boss, well… it does not get used. I could give a rat’s ass about what I look like in my suit in front of them btw. Then Sunday, they will be flying home in the afternoon. I am freaking thrilled they have a rental car. Going to SJC to shuttle them back and forth was no fun in the past so it makes things easier on me. I am just hoping the weekend goes by swiftly and painlessly. Hope you guys have a great weekend! Until next time…


  1. Any airport run is not a lot of fun - glad you don't have to deal with that. Hope you enjoy swimming - odd that your mom doesn't use the pool, but like you said, it's her deal.

  2. Hope your weekend is as painless and as swift as you want it to be. Try to enjoy it though.

    It made me laugh when Dave told you he would just live in his car....manipulation. Alcoholics/addicts are pros at it. Don't fall for it. He's a big boy.


  3. My youngest brother is getting married (third dang time) in September and I am dreading being around all that family. They are great in small doses but, all together? Not so much! LOL

    You are such a lovely, vibrant person. Moving on sounds like the best thing to do! I admire your courage! Remember: do NOT settle for less than the BEST!

  4. Good Luck Lady! I'm sorry you're dealing with this stuff, I hope he can eventually be amicable with you over the situation.

  5. Didja see my #10 on Tuesday Ten? "Fish and family stink after 3 days." So true unfortunately. Hang in and enjoy that pool!!

  6. Actually, Dave's response is exactly what I would expect from someone who wants to be taken care of and resents when someone wants to rock their boat. It's a manipulative, rather than a mature, response. And emotional, "What do you care" response. It's a button pusher. It's as if he's implying it's YOUR responsibility. It's not. It's his. He's a grown man and his self-care is his burden, not yours. Don't let it get to you. It's a childish response that ought to be utterly ignored.

    Here's to a healthy dinner for you at Outback. Try to think hopeful, future-looking thoughts. Dream big. Eat small. :D

  7. I will say it again -- do not let Dave guilt you into staying in this relationship that no longer fulfills you. He will not die even if he does have to live in his car.

  8. Yeah - Princess Dieter has it right. It's virtually emotional terrorism to drop a phrase like he did. Cutting him off may help him hit a bottom where he finally has to do something for himself. He is responsible for his life. When you want recovery and wholeness for someone more than they want it for themselves, the answer is clear.

    Have a restful weekend.

  9. Hugs to you and have a nice weekend.You deserve it. Gracie

  10. He will live in his car and die...oh my how is that for some guilt. it is hard carrying on when things are bad. you are your number one priority and all else will fall into place for you. wishing you the strength to make this the easiest you can.
    have a great weekend. hoping it all goes well.

  11. Katie, I read your post yesterday & my heart ached for you! I tried to comment but i always have issues commenting from work for whatever reason. Anyway, i agreed w/ the other commenters from yesterday's post. I am sorry you're having to go through this but you definitely deserve SO MUCH MORE than what he is giving you! I will pray that the separation is easy for you & that you will thrive in your new life as a single woman! I believe you will! And one day you will meet someone who sweeps you off your feat & treats you like the beautiful woman you are! hugs!

  12. Well. Maybe if he grows up and gets a real job, he can move out of his car before winter.


    You hang tough, Katie.


  13. Katie,
    Don't let him suck you back in. It is not your responsibility to take care of him. He's enabling Co-Dependency. Setting you up to "Rescue" him. Not Cool..You have other things to do with your time.

    I do hope you get some much deserved and needed rest this weekend. Thinking of you

  14. Hang in there girl. You have to do what's right for you!


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