Boo!

'

This is Bogart peeking out from behind a pumpkin plant yesterday. I planted it about a month ago. It went gangbusters in a really short period!

This last month has been life altering my friends. I have decided to move to AZ from CA. I have never moved out of basically a 15 mile radius from where I grew up. It's a BIG move but I really think that it is time for me to make a change. Now that my folks are gone I'm in a position of being able to move wherever I want to and and the thought of it is super exciting! The cost of living here in Arizona is way cheaper than California let me tell you. There is no way that I could afford to buy anything in California but it's an option here in Arizona. Plus I have a friend that I grew up with that lives here. We have been friends since we were seven years old. Over the summer I have been here to visit four times and I'm here now getting ready to do a final inspection on a house. Who would've ever thought??? In my mind it's a win-win all the way around. 

It's going to be very hard to say goodbye to my friends in California but this opportunity is too good to pass up. 

My weight is the same.... I have been doing a little strength training but that's about it...

Until next time...

Out of the Clouds...

You know you have not been blogging or reading blogs when someone had a baby and you didn't know. I have been so caught up in my own crap that I have barely poked my head out.

There are so many thoughts spinning around my head. First off, I am hovering at 248. At least I am out of the 250s but I need to get off my ass. Plain and simple. Even if they're half steps there still in the right direction. No sugar coating it.

I actually wrote an old fashioned list of blog topics. The way my mind has been working, I need to write everything down to retain it these days.

One thing I have always wanted to do is learn a language. I have heard that Rosetta Stone is a good way but it very expensive. Well, I got Spanish Levels 1-3 at 65% off retail and I have finally started doing it. So far, I have only completed one lesson but I got an 86% so not too shabby. 

Still trying to figure out how to read blogs again. I am going to give Bloglovin a try. I used Feedly on my phone and it was just okay.

Until next time...

Uncharted Territory

For the past 3ish years, I have maintained my 65 lb. weight loss. I've been bouncing between 250-255 all this time. Given what I've been through during that time, I am thankful for that. Anxiety makes me not want to eat. That is not good for me but it is what happens.

I have been in AZ visiting my friend Kari. We've known each other since 1st grade. She lived across the street. I happened to step on her scale and I'm actually 246 which is fantastic to me. 

Here we are at the swim up bar. The bar stools are actually in the pool. Super fun but boy oh boy it was a lot of sun and drinking.

Spending time with Kari has reminded me that I am capable of accomplishing goals and that I am a good person. I guess I was so entrenched in my negative mindset that it was nice to hear objective feedback from someone who has known me for 40 years...

I'm flying home today and do plan on coming back in a month or so. This is actually the third visit since May. We went and looked at houses yesterday. Housing is way cheaper here then in Cali. I can actually afford something here as my mortgage payment would be equivalent to my rent at home ($1,325) which just blows my mind! Yes it's hot here but dry heat to me is more tolerable then humidity.

Hope you all are doing well. I need to figure out a new way to read my fave blogs. Any suggestions?

Until next time...

Tattoo You

I got my first tattoo when I was 19 years old.  It was a heart with a lightining bolt on my right ankle. It was 1985 so it was definitely before they were mainstream.  I hid it from my parents with a bandaid for a few years. My Dad said "You got a tattoo? You're a weirdo!" I thought he told my mom but he didn't and she was not a happy camper either. My brother said "Biker chick" 

I do have a sun on my upper thigh as well.  I was playing it conservitive. I wanted the option to be able to hide them if neccessary.  When I was working full time it was imperative that I maintain a professional appearance.

Well... now I have a total of 6 of them. Four of them I have had done in the past 6 weeks. It is true, they are addicting!  The first one is a ladybug which is on the back of my neck. I told him what I wanted and he mapped it out for me.  If my hair is down, my hair covers it

The next one I planned out was a hummingbird.  The meaning behind it actually deserves it's own post but this one is on my right shoulder.  Nani 'Oe means You are beautiful" in Hawaiian. 

As I was getting the hummingbird done (took 2.5 hours) I saw a drawing of Little Cat on the wall. The artist had drawn it and I just adored it so I ended up getting him on my left shoulder. I love that he is farting too. My mom used to call me fart blossom so it was appropriate.

The last one I got was the peace sign daisy. As you can see it is below the ladybug.  I'm a hippie chick (actually a product of hippies) and I love pink.

I am still healing the last three. Especially the cat because he has some thicker lines like on his collar. It is a little hard to reach them so I have been asking my neighbor or friends to help moisturize them. I am not going to sugar coat it but they do hurt.  It's hard to explain but instead of stressing on the pain, it was better to relax and enjoy the proccess.  It seems backwards but it does work.

I can still cover them up for the most part if need be but I also have enjoyed the process of getting them.  I have had both good and bad reactions to them but I am proud to have them and feel a sense of freedom being able to do what makes me happy.

Until next time...

Accountability

Oh my its been since May since I posted?!? Yikes!

Well I am going to commit to being here blogging more and I need to get off my arse and get moving again. The bad news is I have not lost any more weight in the last year (or two) but then by the same token it is a good thing. As I have said in previous posts, this has been a humdinger of a year and the fact that I didn't drown myself in food is a good thing. I am 250 as of today.

So back to basics, back to using the Fitbit and logging foods. It is what worked for me before and I'm hoping it works again. Posting here provided me with accountability and it is truly cathartic to get my thoughts out of my head.

Hope you are all doing well! Until next time...

On the Horizon

Now that things have changed so much I have been trying to find my way. Everything I knew is now different. Good ways and bad.

It has hit me hard that my parents are gone and I am healing from the grief of that reality but it takes time. I can still go to counseling through Hospice.

In the meantime, I've been trying to take better care of myself. I put off going to a vajayjay appt forever... I'm talking WAY too long. 

I went to AZ to see my friend Kari. She reminds me that I'm a good person. We've known each other since 1st grade.

But on the way there I lost my wallet but I had a great time reconnecting. We are getting together in July in Vegas!

I've been doing some crafts which always makes me feel good. 

I have been bouncing the same few pounds around. Exercise has to become my priority now. I've got some BIG plans for this next year.

I'm also taking a few online courses including becoming a notary and Project Management. Knowledge is Power!

Until next time...

Winding Road

Life has basically kicked my ass the last 10 months. We sold our family house after 44 years. Then I fell off my bike and ran out of time off at work. 

In the meantime, I've been dealing with braking things off with Dave! Yes, you read that right for my long time readers.

Dave came back to live with me last Feb. (2013) I had kept in touch with him the whole time he was gone and really thought he had made some changes.  At first things were different but after awhile, he started to revert back to his old ways. I really should have made the break then but my attention was focused on my mom. To give you an example, about 3 weeks prior to her death, he drove my car drunk and smashed the glass in the dashboard with his fist. Then I was finding bottles of whiskey in my cupboards and drawers. I'm all for getting a buzz but not to THAT degree.

I gave it all I had to make it work but I couldn't live that life anymore. I waited until this February and told him he had to move but it didn't happen until a few weeks ago. 

I'm actually enjoying the peace and quiet. I do miss him but I know good things are in store for me.

Until next time...

Coastal Plates

I got personalized license plates. I did custom letters too which is KTBCRZN or Katie be Cruisin :)

Here is the info on the website:

The WHALE TAIL^® License Plate sponsored by the California Coastal Commission gives drivers a way to help protect and restore the priceless resources of California's coast and ocean. The Coastal Commission uses these funds to support many worthy coastal education efforts, including the annual Coastal Cleanup Day which each fall turns out thousands of volunteers to clean our beaches and waterways. The plate also supports the year 'round Adopt-A-Beach^® program, the WHALE TAIL^® Grants program (which supports marine education at the local level), our free resources for educators, the Coastal Conservancy's beach access and habitat restoration programs, and other programs to preserve and enhance environmental resources, sponsored by the Natural Resources Agency.

I have to wait 8-12 weeks for them but hopefully they will come sooner.

Until next time...

My Perfect Sentiment

Pushy Peeps

The other day I was in a social situation and encountered some acquaintances (man and wife) that I had not seen in some time. Both of them have had gastric bypass surgery. The husband had it over 10 years ago and the wife was within the last year or two. The wife specifically has had some major issues/complications surrounding her surgery and recovery.

Having bypass surgery is such a major AND personal decision. I support anyone who does it but for me personally I don't think I would be a good candidate. I did tons of research on the various surgical options and it's just not in the cards for me.

What floored me about this situation was not only the timing and venue but also the judgy way it was said. Who the bleep chooses a happy social gathering to berate someone about getting GBS???

My payback was to buy her shots of tequila and watch her get sloppy drunk and embarrass herself... 

All I know is that after that conversation, it will be a long time before I engage in ANY conversation with the two of them.
 

Until next time...

Proverbial Horse

This is my bike that I fell off last August. I've only rode once since then until today. Luckily the bike shop is virtually across the street so I rode over and had it adjusted, cleaned up and I took off the basket for now.

It felt good to ride today! My knees are a little sore but I plan on making it a habit again.

P.S. I named my bike Keke which is Katie in Hawaiian. 

Until next time...

Fear of Sharing

I have been hesitant to post because allegedly there were/are people that were using the information against me. All I can say is I will not kowtow to anybody who is going to be vicious. There is so much to say but I am tapped emotionally so this is a summary of what happened the last six months.

Buried my mom
Sold the family house
Broke my arm and cheekbone
Let go from my job
Broke up with boyfriend (again!)

Here is a test you can take to gauge where you are on the stress scale. My score was 421 - Eeeek!

  Until next time...

Marching back...

Hopefully someone is out there listening. I have had such the effin rough six months of my life. I have been so overwhelmed with everything and I should have come here to vent but I didn't want to be a downer. I know how cathartic it can be to write it out so here I am, ready to tell my story. I can save one person from enduring the heartache I have then it will be worth it to me. For now, I leave you with this...

Happy Holidays

Wishing you all Peace and Joy this holiday season xoxo 

Crusin!!!

As some of my long time readers know, I went on a number of cruises with my mom over the last few years. Well, my friend D and I are going to the Caribbean on November 23rd!  I am so excited! I loved travelling with my mom but being a single gal with no restrictions sounds marvelous!

My brother mentioned us all going on a cruise together for Christmas this year. Wouldn't that be cool?!?

In the past, the cruises incented me to kick up my game and achieve my weight loss goals. I am gonna put the pedal to the medal.

Bon Voyage!

Project Katie J

Wow, it seems longer then a month since I posted! Is anyone still out there? I sure hope so!

First of all, I am so bummed about Google Reader being gone. I know it's old news now but I feel lost without it. What are you guys using to read the blogs you follow?

I am healing physically. Still hard to bear weight with my left hand but it's coming along.  Still have a faint trace of bruising near my left eye. My weight has held steady miraculously. My issue has been not eating enough (not hungry) which throws my blood sugar out of whack.

My job was terminated last week since I did not have any more time off available. I was just not prepared to go back yet. They said I can reapply when I get clearance from the doctor but I have decided to wait a few months and then consider going back then.

I have spent a lot amount of time caring for others even to the point of compromising my own health and well being and I need to make ME a priority NOW. Why does it seem selfish to take care of yourself? Why don't I feel worthy? Why did neglect myself? Why am I settling? (whole other post!) There are no more excuses to hide behind. Face the truth and reality of it all and make the changes to enable you to be happier and healthier. I deserve it!

Since it's been awhile since I exercised I decided the Wii was a good way to start. I love music and dancing so it helped get some emotion out.

I do plan on being here more for sure so I hope to hear from you all soon. xoxox

Peace,

That One Clear Call

Our Mother heard that one clear call,
Which summoned her away.
She left us for a better home,
Where there is perfect day.
She left us for a home on high,
To dwell forever 'neath God's sky.
We'll miss her so in coming days,
Through many lonely hours;
But she is dwelling up above,
Amidst God's fairest flowers;
Where there is always joy and rest,
In realms of peace, among the blest.



My mom had this in with her mother's picture from her wedding day. I thought I would share...

Peace be with you,

Just for Today

Just for today I will open my eyes and thank the Universe for one more day
Just for today I will look in the mirror and find one thing I like about myself
Just for today I will smile at a stranger in the traffic
Just for today I will greet someone I don't particularly like - and mean it
Just for today I will sing a song and not care if I am off key or who hears
Just for today I will do something I want to do, no matter what anyone else thinks
Just for today I will give someone a word of affirmation - not because I have to, but because I want to Just for today I will be grateful for who I have in my life, not what I have
Just for today I will say a sincere thank you if I receive a compliment and not joke it away
Just for today I will do each task to the best of my ability
Just for today I will hug someone
Just for today I will tell someone I love that I love them
Just for today I will appreciate having a job, a bed and food
Just for today I will appreciate the beautiful colors of the sunset
Just for today I will be grateful for one more day that was undeserved, one more day that was lived to the full, one more day to love and be loved, one more day to be me

Mandi Ducroq

Broken

I bought a new bike on August 18th. My moms house sold that day as well.  Well, I was riding my new bike to D's house and half a block away from the bike shop I crashed the bike  and broke my left wrist, sprained my right and smashed my face up. Mary Graceful as my mom would say. I'm off work until after I get my cast off which is Sept. 13th. Life has been kicking my ass that is all I can say. I will survive though.  I have hope and faith.

 I hope to be blogging regularly again soon. Love and miss you all. xoxo

Details Details Details

Still in the same mode of doing things I don't wanna do but I am doing them. I have been trying to take care of myself too and scheduled a massage the other day. Also went for a bike ride. Still crying everyday...

There are SO many details when someone passes. I have been getting educated on the laws, regulations and details of things and it is interesting but overwhelming to say the least. Hope you are all well. I miss you all!


Peace be with you,